Letter Messiah

Crystal Japan

“For fifteen seconds it’s like watching Twin Peaks.”

David Bowie travels to Japan to star in commercials. Trusted soft drink companies make dodgy new product choices. And MTV VJs are collected like Pokémon. In these times, why not enjoy the cool, refreshing taste of “Crystal Japan!”

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Criminal World

“Less dance.”

Bowie-face baby — “Where the girls are like baby-face Bowies”

Did David Bowie forsake some of his fans by backpedalling about his sexuality? Which artists are allowed to change the lyrics to songs? The wrong words make us listen in this “Criminal World!”

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Cracked Actor

“Second/early third act of any E! True Hollywood Story”

David Bowie brings Ziggy to La-la-land, encounters an agent of The World’s Oldest Profession™, and stars in a couple films to become a “Cracked Actor!”

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Crack City

“I don’t believe that Nancy Reagan ever smoked crack.”

Ronald Reagan — “Don’t grab that scabby hand”

We discuss Reagan’s drug problem, bicycle seat fetishes, and false endings. Plus yet another Beck tangent, and David Bowie’s best worst lyric. You can find it all here in “Crack City!”

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Conversation Piece

“It’s like the end of The Sopranos.”

Bowie Bridge — “A bit rough, but there you are.”

All we are saying is give “Conversation Piece” a chance!

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Come And Buy My Toys

“The 1960s equivalent of a Mumford and Sons song…”

Cambric Shirt — “You shall wear a cambric shirt…”

It’s a hard life out there in the Ye Olde English countryside, so quit playing with your thumb wounds, let Father have the soup rock, and “Come And Buy My Toys!”